Do I think about it again

I have heard don't think about it, quit trying and it will just happen! well you would think after 10 years it would happen!
Then I have even heard of you have your hands full with Pappa why would you want to bring a baby into your life? Why should a crazy person be allowed to have children. Well that is a bunch of bull! how many other out there, that do not take care of their children are allowed to have more children?
I can not help but think about that for a tiny second.

I wonder should I start thinking about it again? should I start being adamant about it again?
should I start counting again? Or should I just move on with life?
I just started getting "on with life" this year, not being so consumed about having a baby, not having deep envy every time I see a pregnant woman, or a baby starring at me, avoiding the baby isle, I started holding babies again. Getting my mindset of it was never meant to be, I'll just love other peoples babies and just enjoy what I have.
Then I had one of those dreams that felt so real that I had a baby boy that looked just like Pappa, then I woke up! I hate those dreams! Was it a joke? Then I had the missed period this past month, was the dream a glace of the future? Nope just a dream.
I hear you have baby girl you should be happy and blessed, which I am! she is the best thing that ever happen to me and I should clone her, she is the perfect child!
Not only have we longed for a baby she has longed to be a big sister.
She told me the other day when we I picked her up from her boyfriends house that he was talking about marrying her after they got out of school. She said she would consider it, but she wanted to go to college and hold of on having kids until the timing is right. She knows what a precious gift having a child is and she does not want to take any of it for granted.

Should I? should I keep the hope alive? Should we keep trying? or should we just go on with life as we know it?