Down this black brick road

This has been on my mind for the last few days and I know some would agree to disagree.

I work in the social work field and see all walks of life and they types of people that have been given the gift to parent.
I cannot help but wonder why? And one thought that had ran through my mind and it makes some sense but then I really do not see all of the women who are struggling with infertility.
I have noticed that there is a minority of women who have infertility- average working woman (or somewhat financially stable either within themselves or their spouse is),that had wanted to have their life "in order-go to college, get a good job, nice home, stable income, and have children when the time was right", and they are Christians. Ok not to single out the families that I see everyday but these women (or in some cases very young women) have no stable housing, no income, they have some kind of substance abuse problem, abuse and neglect their children, they have no desire to improve their situation but they do not want to let someone else raise their children. There are few that do suceed with the program that I work for.
I know I have heard the comments of why don't you leave your job, I do not want to leave my job, I actually really like working for the program. I am a secretary so I actaully do not see them all the time. I give a great deal of support to the caseworkers and I pray for the children that their families will be sucessful. Either way if I stay or leave here the problems will still happen and if I can help in anyway I'd rather be closer to help.

And I cannot also help but wonder and think that am I not able to have more children because I did not obey God's wishes for me to wait until I got married to have sex and start a family?
I started having sex when I was 13 and got on the pill around that same time too. I was on the pill for almost 12 years. Did the pill have anything to do with that. Did me deciding that I wanted to fool around with a few guys before I settled down have anything to do with that?
I know I am forgiven for my sins however I feel that we all pay for our past. I just have to keep praying that I can forgive myself and accept my path in life